Last night was a disappointing night for the Minnesota Vikings and their fans. The team was only one win away from the possibility of going to the Super Bowl. As it became clear that the Vikings would not win last night’s game the disappointment was natural. With this disappointment, however came judgment. Judgment about the team not playing well enough. Judgment about the Vikings franchise. While fans everywhere judged the players and the team, what many probably failed to realize was that there was a set of people judging even more than them. The players and the team themselves.
Most of us are our own worst critics. It was a devastating loss for the fans. Yet, can you imagine how it must have felt as a Vikings player? Here they were, already disappointed in themselves, and then they have a whole slew of people piling on the judgment. I bring this up because in order to learn to love ourselves, we must understand the role that judgment plays in that journey.
It is almost second nature to judge. We judge ourselves. We judge others. Judging places and things is a normal part of who we are. But why? What does judging do for us? It usually doesn’t change the person, place or thing. I believe one reason we judge is because it is a way to deflect our own insecurities onto others. Additionally, we judge because we want to believe that we are better than others.
My Judgment Journey
Judgment is a topic that hits so close to home. It wasn’t until I started this journey toward loving myself that I realized how much I judge. From relationships, to celebrities, to parenting styles to the lifestyle of others. I judged consciously and unconsciously. I always felt like I knew more than others and it was my duty whether aloud or to myself to voice this. Additionally, the person I judged the most was myself.
As I started focusing on my relationship with myself I realized that I had to let go of self-judgment. I was enough, just the way I was. Once I accepted this, I had no choice, but to take a look at the judgment I was projecting out into the world. Why did I care so much about criticizing and measuring others? Because deep inside I wasn’t satisfied with who I was. Judgment was a way for me to stop looking at myself in the mirror. Instead I would bring this mirror around to show everyone I encountered how and why they should change.
Through this journey I learned a profound fact. Everyone has their own truth. This truth may or may not look the same as mine. But it is their own. As I was learning to live in my truth, I realized that my judgment was preventing others to freely live in theirs. Our differences are what make the world so magical. Yet, through judgment we try and justify why everyone should be the same. As I began to accept my whole self, I started to let go of judgment. Judgment of myself, others, places and things. I have never felt more free.
Live Your Truth and Allow Others to Live Theirs
We all have expectations for our lives. I’ve discussed how we need to let go of these expectations. What I failed to mention was that we also have expectations of others. Expectations that must also be let go. We voice these expectations through our judgment. We have no idea what it’s like to be another person. Yet, so many of us feel the right and need to act like we do by constantly judging.
We all have internal struggles. We’re constantly trying to make sense of this world. Insecurities, self-doubt and internal judgment are norms for many of us. The only thing that can make these things worse is the added judgment of those around us. As I build this relationship with myself — with my truth — I’ve realized that I have so much to work on. So much that I simply no longer have time to sit around and judge others.
Instead I use this time to focus on how I can love myself more. Through this love I’ve also learned how to love others better. The best way we can love anyone else is by simply accepting them. Exactly as they are. At this very moment. If you’re ready to take your self-love journey to another level, practice acceptance and let go of judgment. Live your truth and allow others to live theirs.