Control is Overrated

Having control is so overrated. For the most part of my life, however, it was the one thing that I felt set me apart from others. It was the one thing that I tried so dearly to hold onto. Controlling my career, controlling my marriage, controlling my children, controlling my emotions, there was so much to keep track of that at the end I was nowhere near having control of anything.

I was a prisoner in my own life. Always feeling the need to put on a front that I had it all together, that I was on my way to bigger and better things, while on the inside I was completely crumbling as a person. My heart was nowhere to be found and my soul was slowly dwindling.

I needed help, but my desire for control told me that I should be able to figure it out on my own. Why? Why do we put ourselves in these situations? Why do we make life so much more difficult than it needs to be? Why do we put so much faith into our minds and into the hope that it will bring us to the salvation that we all seek?

We Don’t Have to Try

When I began to think about my life. About the moments where I felt the most joy, comfort and peace. I started to realize that during those moments, I wasn’t trying to control anything. Everything occurred naturally, almost like it was designed to. My wedding day, my pregnancies, and late night fun with my friends. I didn’t have to think about anything during these times. Yet, they were the most exhilarating times of my life.

Colbie Caillat has a song called “Try” that I love. Not only are the lyrics powerful, but so is the music video that goes along with it. It’s a song that makes us ask, why are we doing this to ourselves? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be something others want and expect us to be without putting much thought into whether we even like who we are?


In this last year, I started learning about the power of surrender. The power of letting go and letting life lead me. Having been used to the need of feeling in control for so much of my life, it hasn’t been easy remembering to surrender. However, when I truly have, the results are always more than anything I could have imagined or created for myself.

Surrender gives us freedom. The freedom to find space in our minds for the things that actually matter. The freedom to be creative, to make mistakes, and to embrace our imperfections.

Most of us are our own worst enemies. The main person in our lives who sets all of our limiting beliefs. When we surrender, we accept that anything is truly possible. Opportunities, truths and joy begin to come our way that we never dreamed possible. It’s almost like playing hard to get. The less you desire certain things, the more attracted these things are to you.

It isn’t easy, especially when we live in a world that wants to control everything including who we marry, the time we can spend with our newborn babies, how long we have to vacation and more. Begin by just surrendering one aspect of your life. Your money, your career, your marriage or your beliefs on parenting. Trust that the Universe, God, the Divine makes so many things in our lives work without us having to think about them — the world continues to spin around the sun, we breathe without thinking, our hearts beat, the seasons change. Our lives can unfold in the same way as soon as we surrender.  

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